| Personal Blog |
09/14/11
All I know is that for me, it took me a long time to "get it". Getting clean and sober wasn't easy, and I
spun around the revolving door a few times before I finally was able to grasp the concept of "one day at
a time." Alcoholism is a cunning, baffling and powerful disease. It is out there working hard every day
killing people and tearing apart families. That is reality for a lot of people - and alcoholism does not
discriminate. Alcoholism and addiction could care less what your moral or Christian values are.
Alcoholism and addiction will viciously eat you alive from the inside out - no apologies - just brutal
devastation and widespread collateral damage.
Today, I don't go to meetings grasping for sanity while in fear of spontaneously getting drunk. Having
had a spiritual awakening, I share my experience, strength and hope with others. You have to give it
away to keep it, and helping others is the key. People like myself were there for me when I walked
through the doors of AA, and I am responsible. For that reason, I have always been very careful around
anybody that said I did not need AA or the 12 steps. A lot of times, these people are waiting for you to
fail. They can dress up their actions with bible verses and Christianity, but these people have their own
issues. They have their own warped view of the world, and in most cases these people are far sicker
than the alcoholic or the addict. Good natured and meaning well, they cross the line that separates them
from being useful to being arrogant.
Getting an alcoholic inside the rooms of AA takes a long time - and the alcoholic arrives after a long,
shameful, heartbreaking journey. Survival rides upon the chance of connecting with another alcoholic
that suffered a similar path and is currently in the recovery process. Many times, the alcoholic has
destroyed every relationship in their lives. They have run out of friends, family, and most importantly
hope. They are not receptive because their actions and decisions are being controlled by whatever
substance they were using to numb their pain. Opening the door to talk of Christianity, spirituality, or
religion is a touchy subject and should be handled with the utmost care. Having people within the
church telling people that the 12 steps and AA in general goes against God ... get real! These people are
literally placing the alcoholic in a position where they must decide between God and AA.
"All you need is God. If you have God, you don't need AA or the 12 Steps."
A large part of recovery consists of clearing away the wreckage of your past. In doing so, you need
proper guidance. You might find that guidance in another church member - but you will find that
guidance in AA.
Father Martin discussed the topic of relying upon God in recovery. He said, "If I wanted to become a
doctor, I am sure that if God wanted to he could make me a licensed, practicing physician immediately -
if he wanted to. I'm certain beyond any shadow of a doubt that if I asked God to make me a doctor, that
the answer to my prayer would be... Go to med school." He went on to say, "It reminds me of a story of
a little boy that was afraid of the dark. One night, his mother asked him to go out to the front yard and
retrieve the evening paper. The boy was horrified, as it was dark outside. "I can't go out there, mother. I
am afraid of the dark."
"Don't worry, son." she said, "God is everywhere, and he is even in the dark, You don't need to be
afraid, where ever you go, God is there."
The boys eyes lit up like a Christmas tree! He hugged his mother and thanked her. He then opened up
the front door, stuck his arm out the door, and asked God to hand him the newspaper.
God doesn't hand us newspapers. He says, "I gave you legs. Walk!"
God will provide us with the tools, but we have to be willing to do the work involved. Thinking
otherwise will keep the alcholic/addict parked in neutral, and they will either stagnate or revert back to
their self-destructive behavior.
A lot of alcoholics and addicts are so angry with the world and with circumstances. Their
relationship with God is replaced by their addiction. Instead of turning to God, they turn to substances.
Their attitudes towards God and religion makes them non-receptive to any mention of God. That is a
hard wall to break down - and leading the addict/ alcoholic back to God is a fragile process. People that
have never experienced the despair of the suffering alcoholic would have no clue about how to handle
the process. They are tossing snowballs in a furnace.... and as for this nonsense of AA/the 12 Steps
being a "man-made philosophic replacement of God" - or that we tell people to "invent their own God"
... that has got be the biggest bunch of bunk that I have ever heard. In every AA meeting - they read
"How It Works". That comes from Chapter 5 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous which ends on
page 57 with these 3 pertinent ideas -
A) that we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
B) That probably no human power could have relieved out alcoholism.
C) That God could and would IF he were sought.
Sounds pretty clear to me that AA is telling the alcoholic to seek God. Not an invention of God.
G-O-D. In recovery circles, the watered down version of "God" is referred to as "spirituality". In my
case, "spirituality" wasn't nearly enough. I needed more than just an "acquaintance relationship" with
God. I learned in sobriety, that Just because I am born again, that doesn't make me any better than
anybody else. Just because I can quote scripture (Old Testament and New Testament) in 5 different
translations doesn't make me any holier than the next guy. I have a daily reprieve from alcohol that is
contingent upon the condition of my relationship with God. I am one drink and one slip up away from
going back to where I was - and the same holds true for every alcoholic - despite the length of
continuous sobriety.
As I said on Facebook last night - our family has experienced the horrible end result of somebody
dissuading an alcoholic from being where they should be. Any addict/alcoholic that has their sobriety
setting on shaky ground will look for excuses that lead to rebellion, or they will find places to hide - and
eventually they find themselves in a situation where they have no power to resist the temptation to
use/drink. Once the alcoholic/addict plunges back into their addiction, many within the church are just
as helpless and puzzled about what to do as the addict/alcoholic. A large majority of the time, the
addict/alcoholic never makes it back alive.
When dealing with alcoholics and addicts, you need to be extremely careful about what you say or do.
You might be the only person that they are listening to. If you don't have the answers, find someone that
does and direct them to that person. If your knowledge of AA or the 12 steps comes anywhere else but
from your own personal experience, that is your first clue that you are unqualified to say anything to
any alcoholic/addict that is drowning in their disease. Blindly following through despite that fact is a
blatant display of reckless arrogance.
If you are of the mind that you can help an alcoholic without experiencing recovery from alcoholism
yourself, remember that dealing with alcoholism and addiction is a life or death situation. It should be
handled as such. Being irresponsible and lecturing an addict or alcoholic with no personal reference or
experience with his spiritual condition is irresponsible. That is playing with people's lives, and the lives
of the family that will be left behind to clean up the mess.
DS
spun around the revolving door a few times before I finally was able to grasp the concept of "one day at
a time." Alcoholism is a cunning, baffling and powerful disease. It is out there working hard every day
killing people and tearing apart families. That is reality for a lot of people - and alcoholism does not
discriminate. Alcoholism and addiction could care less what your moral or Christian values are.
Alcoholism and addiction will viciously eat you alive from the inside out - no apologies - just brutal
devastation and widespread collateral damage.
Today, I don't go to meetings grasping for sanity while in fear of spontaneously getting drunk. Having
had a spiritual awakening, I share my experience, strength and hope with others. You have to give it
away to keep it, and helping others is the key. People like myself were there for me when I walked
through the doors of AA, and I am responsible. For that reason, I have always been very careful around
anybody that said I did not need AA or the 12 steps. A lot of times, these people are waiting for you to
fail. They can dress up their actions with bible verses and Christianity, but these people have their own
issues. They have their own warped view of the world, and in most cases these people are far sicker
than the alcoholic or the addict. Good natured and meaning well, they cross the line that separates them
from being useful to being arrogant.
Getting an alcoholic inside the rooms of AA takes a long time - and the alcoholic arrives after a long,
shameful, heartbreaking journey. Survival rides upon the chance of connecting with another alcoholic
that suffered a similar path and is currently in the recovery process. Many times, the alcoholic has
destroyed every relationship in their lives. They have run out of friends, family, and most importantly
hope. They are not receptive because their actions and decisions are being controlled by whatever
substance they were using to numb their pain. Opening the door to talk of Christianity, spirituality, or
religion is a touchy subject and should be handled with the utmost care. Having people within the
church telling people that the 12 steps and AA in general goes against God ... get real! These people are
literally placing the alcoholic in a position where they must decide between God and AA.
"All you need is God. If you have God, you don't need AA or the 12 Steps."
A large part of recovery consists of clearing away the wreckage of your past. In doing so, you need
proper guidance. You might find that guidance in another church member - but you will find that
guidance in AA.
Father Martin discussed the topic of relying upon God in recovery. He said, "If I wanted to become a
doctor, I am sure that if God wanted to he could make me a licensed, practicing physician immediately -
if he wanted to. I'm certain beyond any shadow of a doubt that if I asked God to make me a doctor, that
the answer to my prayer would be... Go to med school." He went on to say, "It reminds me of a story of
a little boy that was afraid of the dark. One night, his mother asked him to go out to the front yard and
retrieve the evening paper. The boy was horrified, as it was dark outside. "I can't go out there, mother. I
am afraid of the dark."
"Don't worry, son." she said, "God is everywhere, and he is even in the dark, You don't need to be
afraid, where ever you go, God is there."
The boys eyes lit up like a Christmas tree! He hugged his mother and thanked her. He then opened up
the front door, stuck his arm out the door, and asked God to hand him the newspaper.
God doesn't hand us newspapers. He says, "I gave you legs. Walk!"
God will provide us with the tools, but we have to be willing to do the work involved. Thinking
otherwise will keep the alcholic/addict parked in neutral, and they will either stagnate or revert back to
their self-destructive behavior.
A lot of alcoholics and addicts are so angry with the world and with circumstances. Their
relationship with God is replaced by their addiction. Instead of turning to God, they turn to substances.
Their attitudes towards God and religion makes them non-receptive to any mention of God. That is a
hard wall to break down - and leading the addict/ alcoholic back to God is a fragile process. People that
have never experienced the despair of the suffering alcoholic would have no clue about how to handle
the process. They are tossing snowballs in a furnace.... and as for this nonsense of AA/the 12 Steps
being a "man-made philosophic replacement of God" - or that we tell people to "invent their own God"
... that has got be the biggest bunch of bunk that I have ever heard. In every AA meeting - they read
"How It Works". That comes from Chapter 5 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous which ends on
page 57 with these 3 pertinent ideas -
A) that we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
B) That probably no human power could have relieved out alcoholism.
C) That God could and would IF he were sought.
Sounds pretty clear to me that AA is telling the alcoholic to seek God. Not an invention of God.
G-O-D. In recovery circles, the watered down version of "God" is referred to as "spirituality". In my
case, "spirituality" wasn't nearly enough. I needed more than just an "acquaintance relationship" with
God. I learned in sobriety, that Just because I am born again, that doesn't make me any better than
anybody else. Just because I can quote scripture (Old Testament and New Testament) in 5 different
translations doesn't make me any holier than the next guy. I have a daily reprieve from alcohol that is
contingent upon the condition of my relationship with God. I am one drink and one slip up away from
going back to where I was - and the same holds true for every alcoholic - despite the length of
continuous sobriety.
As I said on Facebook last night - our family has experienced the horrible end result of somebody
dissuading an alcoholic from being where they should be. Any addict/alcoholic that has their sobriety
setting on shaky ground will look for excuses that lead to rebellion, or they will find places to hide - and
eventually they find themselves in a situation where they have no power to resist the temptation to
use/drink. Once the alcoholic/addict plunges back into their addiction, many within the church are just
as helpless and puzzled about what to do as the addict/alcoholic. A large majority of the time, the
addict/alcoholic never makes it back alive.
When dealing with alcoholics and addicts, you need to be extremely careful about what you say or do.
You might be the only person that they are listening to. If you don't have the answers, find someone that
does and direct them to that person. If your knowledge of AA or the 12 steps comes anywhere else but
from your own personal experience, that is your first clue that you are unqualified to say anything to
any alcoholic/addict that is drowning in their disease. Blindly following through despite that fact is a
blatant display of reckless arrogance.
If you are of the mind that you can help an alcoholic without experiencing recovery from alcoholism
yourself, remember that dealing with alcoholism and addiction is a life or death situation. It should be
handled as such. Being irresponsible and lecturing an addict or alcoholic with no personal reference or
experience with his spiritual condition is irresponsible. That is playing with people's lives, and the lives
of the family that will be left behind to clean up the mess.
DS
| The 12 Steps are Vital - and they are not evil! |
